Seed | Eating Disorder Support Service

Make a donation using Virgin Money Giving

helping people not the eating disorder

Helpline (01482) 718130

blogs

Surviving the Deep , Dark Waters

5th January 2015

The following poem speaks of the deep, dark and painful waters of my journey back then, the hiding behind smiles, yet knowing I was not succeeding to appear OK. I was deeply aware of my inner life, and this poem is an honest expression of what was going on for me at the time of writing.


Surviving the Deep , Dark Waters

From deep dark waters flow tears of pain.

Inexpressible anguish hiding behind smiles.

Yet somehow not succeeding.
Drop by Drop the tears are released,
until the film can hold them no more.

Gushing forth
with a power that causes pain;
drowning all happiness,
which somewhere must be buried.

Such weakness, fatigue, sighing.

The fountain of happiness which once bathed the child,
is now a torrent of acid water;
stinging the child,
overwhelming her.
Yet she cannot swim.
She closes her eyes
and flusters
around;
searching for a hand.

The torrent becomes
a whirlpool, sucking her in.
She keeps on reaching and searching.

A hand takes hers;
she must hold tight too.
She's scared;
if one lets go,
she drowns.
The current gets stronger
the sky overhead gets darker; her body gets heavier
her mind gets weaker;
her eyes get tired

One is only left to wonder
whether she will survive.

Leighah Darcy 1994/5

Seed x